Kids — Blog — adlibbing life

Hi, I’m Amanda, or Mandy, or Mom, depending on how you know me...recent addict of iced chai lattes, long time addict of shoes and giant costume jewelry and faithful wearer of my two retainers every night. I am learning how to be divorced and I chaotically, lovingly and gratefully get to raise the three most amazing girls on the planet. Professionally I host a television lifestyle show which is a dream job and pretty much a total blast. Unprofessionally--or not professionally, whichever sounds least..."worse"-- I have discovered writing is a form of therapy and through my posts on social media, I’ve learned sharing my feelings helps others to share theirs. The circumstances of this crazy, lovely and sometimes heartbreaking life may be different for each of us, but feelings connect us and often times seeing someone find their own resilience helps us to unlock our own. Patience is my biggest struggle although I have been shown time and time again that good things come to those who wait. However, these days it’s all flying by so fast, I don’t have to exercise patience that much. Life is moving at warp speed! (My oldest daughter is in middle school and had her first boyfriend. Can someone kindly explain how in the world we got here because I was just--unsuccessfully--breastfeeding her about 10 minutes ago??!?) I dream big and I want to make it all happen, but sometimes the red wine, popcorn and loaded DVR are just too good and I can’t leave my couch. The struggle is real! Most recently I have learned a lot about faith (you gotta have it), tending to it (it grows!) and relying on it (it will get you through EVERYTHING and then some). I love Jesus and I know He loves me. I am a hardworking work-in- progress and a native of the Lone Star state living in the magical land of Austin, Texas, where the dreams, mysteries and miracles of life are as plentiful as the tacos, and I prefer all of the above with sour cream, please. I named the blog Adlibbing Life because that's pretty much what I do all day every day, whether it's momming or interviewing or whatever, even though sometimes I fool myself into thinking I've planned things perfectly. (Insert hysterically laughing emoji with tear filed eyes HERE).

Do you like to make lists? I LOVE to make lists because I love to cross things off of those lists.

I even love re-making a list in nicer, neater handwriting when I make a mistake on the first list. It's fine, you can call me OCD; there might be some truth to that. But as far as I'm concerned OCD stands for One Copy is Dumb because you can never have too many lists. Alas, those lists usually end up in one of the many "piles" in my life; on the kitchen counter or on my desk at work or in the back of my car. I am a master “pile gardener.”

Do you love to plan your outfits? I LOVE to plan an outfit; for work or for a party or for the plane ride to a vacation where I will then need more planned outfits. I often dream of an uber-organized wardrobe with a closet merchandised like a fine store. In this ongoing dream I effortlessly pull everything together with ease from the matching bra and panties to the crisp starched shirt to the perfectly worn in jeans to the most amazing shoes (I die for shoes!) and of course, a fantastic handbag. Alas, in reality I am usually scrambling for an outfit in between making frozen waffles and yelling at the kids to hurry. I have said many, many times that God chooses my outfits. Believe me I know God has FAR more important things to do. But on the days I am so frazzled, exhausted and running on empty—when it’s not even 8:00am—and I catch a glimpse of the perfect skirt to go with the top I’m clutching in my hands as I spin aimlessly around in the closet, I swear to...God...that God showed it to me in that moment. In my mind’s eye, my daily dressing routine looks like a movie montage of one amazing outfit after another. Realistically it’s like WAY different. And in related news my favorite pajamas came from the gift shop in an Oklahoma casino. God had nothing to do with that.

Do you love to stay on task in the afternoon, feeding the kids a healthy snack before a bit of backyard frolicking, then helping them with homework, and preparing a healthy dinner with all the components coming together at exactly the same time? I LOVE thinking about this. It is a more beautiful fantasy than the guy who plays Kevin on “This Is Us” appearing shirtless to mow my yard and sip (spiked) lemonade with me afterwards.

Alas, this is what really happens: the girls eat chips or Nutella sandwiches before whining over who will get to jump on the trampoline first and for the longest. We then realize someone left their homework folder at school and panic ensues about how we can get the assignment, accompanied by me going into a scary speech about how they CANNOT continue to live their lives this way as they stare at me with a look that can best be described as “WTH?”

This heartwarming scene wraps up with me making something like overcooked steak, Brussels sprouts and macaroni and cheese, in no particular order and NEVER ready at once, but more often than not I throw my hands in the air and we hit the Chick Fil A drive thru. Again.

Whether it’s a list that never gets fully crossed off, an outfit that came together spur of the moment as I’m late running out the door, or the daily snack/homework/dinner routine gone (way) awry, it is easy to feel down in the times when the “plan” takes a different direction. And I’m not talking just the list making-outfit picking-routine following plans I’ve mentioned here. I’m talking about the change in plans that brings life to a screeching halt and throws you into a different orbit. The ones that lead you to move to a new city, begin a second act in your career and start over as a single mom. The change in plans that leaves you only enough energy to get the kids packed and off to school with your best “have a great day” smile before you come back home, crawl under the covers and cry yourself back to sleep. I’ve been there and here’s what I’ve learned: I am a great survivor when the plan crumbles. In fact it’s where I shine. But I didn’t know that until much later on. (We’ll get to that in future posts).

So through experiences that could only have been brought to me by God himself (getting hired back in the tv business on my 40th birthday—are you kidding me??!?) to finding ways to keep my girls not just surviving but thriving (the pre-made Boar’s Head sandwiches at HEB pack great in school lunches—heck yeah!) to maybe, possibly, perhaps slightly imagining what it might be like to find love again, I am navigating life anew with the experience and wisdom of someone who has been hurt and derailed but with the unexplainable belief and enough grace-filled moments to know it will be okay....even good....no, even GREAT again. I am making my way, writing my tales, sharing my experiences and learning more with every day. I am Adlibbing Life and this is where you will find my stories.