boutique-ness, Imodium, faith & friends
The 20’s were about being a young career girl, getting married and sharing life with another person. The 30’s were about sharing life with a lot of people. I had my oldest daughter at 31, my middle at 34 and my youngest at 36. I was a stay-at-home mom to three little bitty girls. I spent lots of time volunteering and going to playdates. Those years were chaotic and sweet. (And lots of little people means lots of diapers. I changed diapers continuously on one child or another from 2005 to 2013. Dang.) My 30’s came to an end with earth shattering news, a move to a new city, putting the kids in different schools and trying to find a new normal. Two and half months after we moved to Austin (and serendipitously on my 40th birthday) I was hired to host a new lifestyle show at the station where I had applied to be a reporter when I was 23. They didn’t hire me back then but they hired me 17 years later. All in good time, right? (I tell my boss all the time no one else will ever top that birthday present!)
The 40’s have had their WTH moments for sure, but overall they have been liberating, enlightening, and they have allowed the discovery of a new me while reviving the best parts of the old me. I am still in the thick of the first half of this decade of life, but I can tell you there are some things I have already learned in the 40’s that are not going away. There is a sweet freedom in thinking, deciding, choosing, navigating and "mistaking" for myself. And I’m definitely not mad about it.
I AM A RELEVANT BAD ASS
Not only did I get hired at 40, the duties of my job have included stepping waaaaay out of my comfort zone. And because I wanted to show my bosses they hadn’t made a mistake in choosing me, I made myself do it. No dignity was sacrificed and I didn’t compromise my core values, but I had to be a good sport in areas where I wasn’t used to being a good sport: adventure, embarrassment and vanity. I rappelled 38 stories down the side of Austin’s W Hotel. (Praying the whole time). I went on a trapeze. (Praying and some cussing). I shot a flame thrower. (Praying with a lot of nervous laughter). I screwed up on camera (actually I do that daily) and said words that don’t exist (“boutique-ness”....what??) but I learned that laughing it off instead of going home and obsessing about it felt good. (I rarely get embarrassed anymore and that is the BOMB). I wore a shell bra and a mermaid tail for a photo shoot. At 40. And I didn't freak out about what my body looked like. Sweet freedom! (And it’s still one of my favorite pictures.)
I CAN...
Bring home the non-GMO sugar-free bacon and fry it up in a pan. I got this. I have single handedly gotten two ferocious lizards out of my house, changed my air filters, taken the trash out in high heels, negotiated with the yard man, set up and put away the Christmas tree, and kept up with the maintenance on my car. I know how to do the things. Sweet freedom! More importantly I have shown my daughters that a woman can do anything at any point in her life; it’s never too late.
MY B.S. RADAR IS ON POINT
Funny how age and time give you not only wisdom, but a built in detector for the folks you just ain’t gonna jive with. Better yet you finally know you don’t need to waste your time TRYING to jive with them. Sweet freedom! The snooty mom who name drops and talks about all her money? Nope. The musclebound meathead who needs to be reminded “Hey buddy, my eyes are up HERE.” Nope. The know-it-all one upper who can’t even let someone else finish a sentence without interrupting to tell how he/she did it/knew it/earned it/got it first, faster, better and blah blah blah. Nope, nope, nope. Happiness to all of you, but if I see you coming—and I do, from a mile away—I’m turning tail in the other direction.
NO MORE FOMO
I have given up the Fear Of Missing Out. I can pick and choose based on my gut feeling. It has never steered me wrong. I am not driven by the need to say I was there. I am driven by...will I enjoy this? Is this time well spent? Will I keep good company while I’m there? No more going just for the sake of going. Sweet freedom! (Plus babysitters are expensive!)
I DON’T CARE IF YOU SEE WHAT’S IN MY SHOPPING CART
I need toilet paper. I need tampons. I need Imodium. I do all the things that make those products necessary. I need People magazine. I like the pictures and the words. On occasion I need Lunchables. Yes they’re hideous but when it’s Thursday night and we’ve got one school day to go, it saves my tired bones from making a lunch plus my kid will eat it. Sweet freedom! She eats broccoli and salmon too. Balance.
YOU GOTTA HAVE FAITH
Non-negotiable. I need to praise God as much in the good times as I ask Him for help in the bad times. I didn’t REALLY know that until my 40’s. I carried God in my back pocket. If everything was good I didn’t question it and I didn’t thank Him as I should have. If things were bad I felt like I had no right to ask for help because I am just this mom with everyday problems and God has more important things to do, right? Now I know He is “all in” on my life. He is with me and for me and I can talk to Him about anything from the fears and doubts to the triumphs and joys. He wants that from me and the more I run after Him, the better life is. Doors have opened, doors have shut. It’s all part of the plan. I know that and knowing that is everything. Sweet freedom!
NOTHING BEATS GOOD GIRLFRIENDS
I have reconnected with friends from as far back as first grade. I have maintained friendships from college, my early working days and my stay-at-home mommy days. And I have made friends in recent years who have shown the love and loyalty of a decades-long bond. These women are the sisters I never had, all perfectly placed in my life. In my 40’s I have discovered who my tribe is. For real. Sweet freedom! And they are single and married and moms and not moms and karaoke stars and advocates and horseback riders and democrats and republicans and gay and straight and smart and beautiful and they SHOW UP.
So if all of the above is what I know in my 40’s, I can't wait to find out what happens next and after that and after that. Life is good. I am blessed. And tomorrow is another chance to live and learn. Sweet freedom!
What are some "sweet freedoms" you have realized in your life? I would love to know! Comment below.